Out on a Limb

In the past three months I have been conducting a sort of "self-experiment".

Essentially I have realllly been putting myself out there. Each day I try to do something that scares me. I took an improv class, acting classes, messaged people who I never would normally message, talked to strangers in public, said yes to just about everything, as well as "no" to things I hate, auditioned even when I knew I wouldn't get the part, sent sub-par video auditions, and have been going to some social events entirely by myself.

Basically I've just been chillin on a limb all month long.

And it is very scary. It is. But each time I ask myself, "what's the worst that can happen?" And if the answer is something like, "they'll say no" or "someone might think I'm weird" then I just DO IT. I don't question myself, I don't think of every possible scenario, I just put on my big-girl pants and go for it. I have made the decision to give myself the best fighting chance, even if it means I look silly or nothing happens. If I don't get the part in a film, but I auditioned and tried my best, then it simply was not meant to be. I can't be mad about something that is not at all in my control.

That said, a lot of things have not worked out. I haven't been cast in the majority of things I've auditioned for...but I have gotten cast for a few. I never would have gotten those few if I hadn't put myself out there. Sometimes I try to be social and literally end up feeling like an outcast troll. And other times I'm Grace Kelly incarnate! People cancel, things don't work out.

I have very high highs and very low lows.

Each time something doesn't work out I think, what's the point? Why did I even try?

But then a new opportunity springs up. Sometimes it's even better than the first one. God and the universe tend to work like that. One door closes and another one opens.


I can't tell you how to live, but if you're feeling stuck in the mud, try this "experiment". Even if only one cool thing comes of it, you've basically succeeded because it wouldn't have happened on its own.

"You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water" -Rabindranath Tagore

-Ashley