I apologize for being so silent this past month and not posting very much or blogging! A lot of things have been happening, good and not-so-good, and I am just trying to catch up with myself here. Someone I knew passed away in December and it really put life into perspective for me. I thought I knew what I was doing, where I was going, what I wanted in life...but boy how things have changed. It seems like every week I am changing my goals and expectations. I can't really keep up anymore!
So now I'm just going with the flow. It's like I've been trying to swim upstream all my life, making goals and action plans. And now instead of fighting, I'm just letting myself float wherever the current would like to take me. Just letting life happen as it happens. And it's actually been really good.
Out of nowhere, in December, I got a job at a coffee shop without applying or even really interviewing. The stars aligned and now I am working there a few days a week and I LOVE it so far. It's a beautiful, quiet, minimalist shop. I love the regulars who come in and our products. And I don't dread going to work each day, which is fantastic. I was so excited before to be doing photography full-time without the need for a part-time job, but I ended up feeling a little lonely and secluded. As much as I love the freedom of only working freelance, I missed the daily human interaction that comes with being a barista. I have met SO many new friends and acquaintances just in the two months I have been working here, it's crazy. It's got me questioning what "success" really is. From an outsiders perspective, I may look like I'm struggling. Nate and I are not making a whole lot of money, I got a second job, I don't have any Atlanta photography jobs lined up...but...I feel happy. And isn't that what success is? That's not to say I'm not trying to get some new photo jobs or that I don't want more money...haha, I definitely do. But for now I'm happy meeting new people, going with the flow, and making beautiful lattes along the way.
As far as photography, I have gotten some work, but nothing like I've expected to get down here. I took some photos for a marketing company and some baby photos for friends, but I haven't found work like I had in Minnesota such as engagement, senior shoots, or fashion. I should probably feel disappointed about this...but I'm not... And I'm not scared or worried about it either, which is the important thing. If things are meant to be, they will be. Work will come if it's meant to come. I'm shooting 5 Minnesota weddings this year, so I'm not totally out of the game. In a way, it's just a whole different game.
And the unexpected new side-gig in my life is being an extra! Since December I have been doing a few background acting gigs, applying to them with a completely open mind and no expectations...and I am actually loving it. I've now been a part of two TV shows, a web-series, and one big-budget film! Granted I am only a tiny blur in the background, on set 8-14 hours each day, and usually have to walk back and forth in heels a thousand times in a row....But I'm getting paid, I get to watch the actors and crew do their thing (my favorite part), I get to meet lots of new people, and I have a lot of fun doing it. And now that I'm in a city saturated with acting jobs, I am thinking about taking a swing at it myself just to see what happens.
(a couple of my own head shots, taken by me of course, lol)
Overall I've just realized that life is short. If you don't put yourself out there, nothing will happen. Apply to stuff, talk to people you wouldn't normally talk to, try something new just because. Leave your job if you hate it, try that hobby you've always wanted to try. Share your art, share your thoughts. Nothing is stopping you.
I've been thinking of it like I'm making my future self proud. I want to give "Grandma Ashley Washburn" some cool stories to tell someday. I don't want to turn 80 realizing that I only ever worked in one place that I actually hated. I want to say that I was a fashion photographer, a movie star, that I painted, went dancing, helped people, tried new things, failed big, made a fool out of myself but got back up, that I traveled, and lived a big juicy life!
I wrote down a goal for myself last year in my notebook. It was simply :
To live a lifetime full of creative projects and endeavors.
And that's what I want to try to fill my time on earth with. It's going well so far and I can't wait to see what the rest of the year has in store. If anything, it will at least give me a story to tell.
-Ashley
